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DEAR MISS MANNERS: My sister-in-law’s father died three weeks ago after a long illness, and I’ve been invited to a celebration of life at my brother and sister-in-law’s house. It starts at 7 p.m. on a weekday.

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She texted a detailed itinerary that includes a potluck dinner until 9, followed by eulogies and speeches. They’re doing this themselves instead of having a traditional funeral.

Usually, aren’t speeches or services held before a meal, so everyone isn’t forced to stay for hours? I work early the next morning; is there any way I can respectfully leave early?

GENTLE READER: Leaving early will require you to excuse yourself, which means a conversation with either your brother or your sister-in-law. While this could happen at the event, it would be more considerate to clear it beforehand.

Picture this conversation in your mind, using the image of your brother’s face as a guide to whether you can respectfully leave early.

Miss Manners is not suggesting this as a devious way of telling you to stay — she is not that subtle. Rather, she is asking you to use your judgment in a delicate family matter.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work at a nonprofit that prides itself on being all-volunteer, with no boss. Decisions are made at monthly meetings.

Having worked 35 years at a job with bosses, I understand that dynamic better. With this volunteer group, it seems everyone is in charge, and personal feelings are expressed frequently.

When a decision is made outside of a monthly meeting, I will either abide by it or note that we need to bring it up at the next meeting.

Any advice for dealing with emotional co-workers when you don’t want to proceed as they have told you to, and there is no boss to ask? I believe the understanding is that we are all friends. While I consider some of the volunteers friends, others I do not.

Can you clear up my thinking?

GENTLE READER: Your thinking appears to Miss Manners to be clear, except, perhaps, in holding out hope of any decisions coming out of such an organizational arrangement.

Once you have done your best to accommodate or defer decisions-by-fiat of individual co-workers, the only remaining question is how to deal with the emotional outbursts. As providing counseling is presumably not a requirement for volunteering at your nonprofit, Miss Manners recommends a triage approach based on your own astute observation that these are co-workers, not friends.

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The first class of outburst — which we will name “Can I call you an ambulance?” — is for outbursts in which you would be required to intervene if they happened with a stranger at a bus stop.

The second class — “I’m so happy/sorry/interested to hear that. Now, what do you think we should do about this aspect of the project?” — is for everything else, as you attempt to steer things back towards work.

The final class — “Excuse me, I think Sophie needs some help over there with the label making” — is for fleeing when all attempts to get things back on topic have failed.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

Q: Hasn’t Bam Adebayo’s injury been very beneficial to Kel’el Ware’s development? Previously Kel’el would be pulled during rough first quarters or wouldn’t play at the end of close games. With Bam out, Kel’el had to stay in the game and grind it out. – Peter, Opa-locka.

A: It would be hard to disagree, based on how Erik Spoelstra has handled the Bam Adebayo-Kel’el Ware situation when both have been available. So it will be particularly interesting to see what follows, now that Kel’el has lifted his recent play. Considering that Bam is averaging 30 minutes a game, it could be back to around 18 for Kel’el. A mitigating factor could be the ongoing struggles of Nikola Jovic, which could perhaps coax Spoelstra to play Ware and Adebayo together at times. But, yes, as you inferred, if Bam was available on Monday night, it likely would have been him, and not Kel’el, getting those minutes down the stretch.

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Q: Norman Powell is averaging 26 points per game as the Heat’s leading man. Davion Mitchell is a great defender who is also in the Top 11 in the NBA in assists. Shouldn’t Tyler Herro return as a sixth man instead of upsetting the chemistry of the Heat’s starting backcourt? – Neal, Lauderhill.

A: You certainly could make a case for such a role with Tyler Herro’s streak scoring – but it also is not happening. Tyler has earned a starting role and soon it will be up to Erik Spoelstra to make that work, just as he will have to make the Adebayo-Ware minutes work.

Q: It’s looking more and more like they made a mistake giving Nikola Jovic that extension. Jaime Jaquez Jr. deserves it more. – Ralph.

A: One does not preclude the other. This preseason was an extension window for Nikola Jovic but only a team-option window for Jaime Jaquez Jr., both based on rookie-scale timing. Jaime certainly is playing himself into something lucrative. And, to be fair, so was Nikola, seemingly, when his window opened. But, yes, so far there has been regression.

I’ve been reading all these news articles regarding the sick, narcissistic Jeffrey Epstein.

All of us have had best friends in our lifetime. Anyone from any walk of life who thinks that two best friends didn’t try to duplicate what each other did is more than gullible — it’s stupid, too.

It’s long past due to impeach President Trump for a third time, remove him from office and save America. We all should be on board with this move, as we all are for America and against abusing young women — at least I would hope so.

Jim Tiffin, Coral Springs

A broken Congress Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, R-La., makes a statement to reporters without taking questions following a vote in the Senate to move forward with a stopgap funding bill to reopen the government through Jan. 30, at the Capitol in Washington, Monday, Nov. 10, 2025. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

The government is no longer shut down, but Congress is still shut down.

Let’s look at the facts.

The No. 1 issue facing Congress should be finishing the 2025-2026 federal budget.

The last time Congress passed all 12 regular appropriation bills by the Oct. 1 deadline was for fiscal year 1997.

Instead of starting work on the 2026-2027 budget, Congress is still haggling over the current numbers. We have a dysfunctional Congress whose top priority is whether to release the Epstein files. It’s a task without meaningful purpose.

Congress should investigate why it takes almost two years to build a nuclear sub when we need at least 10, or why we can’t build ships or airplanes to meet our military needs.

Congress should ask why replacing Air Force One, begun under Obama, will not be complete until Trump is out of office, possibly in 2029.

This is not a Republican or Democratic issue. This is a systemic government problem. We should just vote them all out of office and start over.

Doug Cohen, Boynton Beach

Calling all Democrats

Democrats need to get back in the game.

Tribune photo by Nancy StoneWhite House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, left, and senior advisers David Axelrod, center, and Valerie Jarrett, right, listen as President Barack Obama holds a prime-time press conference in the East Room of the White House, marking his 100th day in office.

Let Pete Buttigieg carry the ball, and back him up with David Axelrod, James Carville and David Plouffe.

Raise lots and lots of money and choose young, high-quality candidates for the 2026 midterm election. Give them a left-centered platform that includes housing affordability, women’s rights, the restoration of the Affordable Care Act and SNAP benefits, protecting the Constitution, due process and above all, the truth.

All the things that Trump and Republicans have denied or voted against.

This “New Democratic Party” should embrace thoughts of independents and patriotic Republicans, and Barack and Michele Obama should take an active role as well.

This new campaign can operate on two fronts — calling out Trump and Republican lies and cruelty, and the message of a bright future carried by Democrats and independents.

Mark Lippman, Boca Raton

Truth as a novelty

It has become mandatory: MAGA Republicans have sworn not to believe that the truth is honest, reliable, correct, factual, accurate, frank or sincere.

Their only opinion of the truth is that it is strictly a novelty and should be used very sparingly, if at all.

Donald Kogan, Boca Raton

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